I got upgraded
11/07/24 17:58
As part of the discussions around my treatment, I was given the option of diving straight into the fixing, or targeting managing my pain first. Given where I've been for the last year - and a couple of other considerations I won't go in to here - I've opted for the stoma route first. For those not familiar with a stoma - you can read about it here. Sounds horrific doesn't it? In reality, it isn't. I'm fortunate (…weird choice of words that) to know somebody who has had one for most of their adult life, so I came into this fully educated.
Monday AM it was an early start into Kings at 06:30 to prep for Surgery. Booked into the ward, and down in prep by 08:30. Under around 09:00, back in recovery around 10:30. I took the advice of having happy conversations before going under the anaesthetic and it paid off - my conversation on the way back up were complimentary, and ridiculously friendly. Somebody now knows I think they have great hair.
Yet again Kings College have been exemplary. Their treatment and care has been beyond question, I simply couldn't ask for more. I've been involved in every conversation - do I want an epidural as well as the normal anaesthetic? - and educated on those choices. Everything they've said has come through. I feel cared for. I feel like I matter, and I'm listened to.
I've been up in the ward since Monday and the level of care I've received has continued. Managing the stoma is easier than I thought in reality. Takes a bit of practice but it's nothing that I can't manage. I was so looking forward to being able to shower though! Weird how your brain will potentially not let you feel clean for a while isn't it?
I'm feeling positive, and together…and I'm no longer in pain - and that, my friends, is glorious. It's the first time I've been this pain free since last summer. It's weird to say but I was starting to forget what it's like. I'm sore, sure, but that I can cope with - every day I'm stronger, and less sore.
What have I Learned?
Don't give up on asking for help is probably my primary lesson. I hate to be negative about such things, however when I compare and contrast the treatment I've received at Kings compared to Royal London, the gap in care is astonishing. They couldn't have been more different. I'm so pleased I found this place.
A positive frame of mind is hard to maintain when you're in constant pain - but when you're progressing, when you have a plan, and you're surrounded by people who support you - every one of those moments gets easier.
I need to buy new clothes. None of them fit. I look like I should be out skateboarding or advertising my wares in prison.
I'm a lot more positive than I was even a few days ago. I am however fully aware of the journey in front of me; the difference is now I feel ready to face it.
Final Thoughts of Today
- My daughter is a bad ass, and I couldn't be more proud of her, and how she's coping.
- People have surprised me in their willingness to help - even when I've not asked, and not thought to ask…because I don't know how to.
- I got this.
- This one may be a bit dramatic - but when you feel you've lost everything, and you've settled on that outcome, oh my god do you feel free. Told you, dramatic, but it's the best way I can word it.
- Forgive the Tolkien quote (or don't - bite me): "I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”. I could not agree with this more - always have had this mentality, if I think about it - it's now just hitting home.
- Sometimes it's the small gestures from people we barely know that can reaffirm your faith that collectively people are good people. Often, they don't even realise they're one of those people. I hope I am one of those people.
- Tummy trumps will never not be hysterical.
- By my calculations I am now approximately 0.9% donut.
